I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
