She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
