I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
