just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
