evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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