At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
