You really coming over, don't trick.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Randomize
