hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
