turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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