atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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