I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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