9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize