You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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