I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
