dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
