i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
