It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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