are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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