i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
