You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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