Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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