oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize