just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
