So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Randomize