he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
