Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
