Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
