FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
