i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize
