i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
