Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Operation Purity has been aborted
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
