i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
