he puts the penis in happiness.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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