we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
