he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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