I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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