If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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