I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
