he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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