There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
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