Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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