What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
