I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize