she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize