Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
