Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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