oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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