Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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