What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
