So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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