My hand turned me down
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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