Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
