I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Dicks are not precious.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
