it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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