Umm I'm too high to move.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
