Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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