What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Randomize
