Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
