One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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