Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
