thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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